So lately Ive been cramming for midterms, there all this week and last week. Im kinda scared on what to get on them cause im at the point in grades where if I do good on a midterm I keep my good grades (OBVIOUSLY) and if I do bad my marks will go down. Sigh First semester just be be over already gosh -_-
Btw VOTE JENNY TRANG For Princess and Me for Prince :3
Hmm Have you ever had to lose a friend or best friend well technically you didnt have to just you decided to stay out of their lives cause you just strongly dont like their boyfriend or girl friend? Sure you can simply not acknowledge them but deep down wouldnt you feel like crap if you best friend couldn't confide in you with certain situations with their partner?
I felt bad but at the same time, I think I did whats best for me and him because I feel our friendship was just tied down cause I couldn't grow from the situation ive tried to not acknowledge him and I forget him some days but sometimes He pops up and its like gahh. Deep down I know your happy and I dont want to briing you and him down cause of me so I did whats best for both of us and let you guys be. It probably difficult for both of us knowing we had a great friendship and I considered you soome one very dear to me.
I guess im sort of sad that I cant confide in you anymore or talk about the things I would never talk about with any one else or even do some of the things I said I would do since were not friends anymore. Sigh
I guess I dont know what to think about this, I just want you to be happy. Heh im tired bringing you down so Id want you to be happy so I left and hope you can be ok.
Besides that,
On a side note, Im not sure what im wearing for ASB Ball the theme is Masquerade ball Im running for prince and also I wanna get my mask after I find out what im wearing, I think ill make my mask instead of buying one. Im pretty sure it will be bomb since hey its ASB Ball just ugh hope I get prince :D JENNY TRANG FOR PRINCESS :D
Ive been told "There's a time for everything" Yes indeed there is a time for everything but how much time is every one willing to give me. Hmm I sometimes wonder if I put more time into them than myself or them putting as much or some what enough time for me. Hmm well I guess you can say I tend to give and put a lot of time for people I care for and love. Heh For instance Rhealyn one of my best friends heh there are days where I will give her all my time cause I know within time she will do the same.
Kind of funny when I refer to rhealyn cause I consider her like a older sister. Heh I treat her like one too :3
Hmm so I have this crush. Ive been crushing on him for a while, and Were still talking but, I guess I wonder sometimes what he really thinks of me. I bad or good. In the past hes told me hes always thought good about me and that made me feel better but I guess as time goes I wonder what still happens in his head.
Hmm Him? what do I think of him? I think of him as this prince, like hes in a family of 3 and there all prince under a mighty king (haha over exaggerating much?) and hes the middle child, you hear a lot about the oldest one and a lot from the younger one but not much from him. But some reason I believe hes the one who's waiting for a good moment to where he can shine and make every one around him believe hes something more worthy than we thought.
Heh prince, you make me feel fuzzy sometimes, your there and you care when I go through my own drama cause im in highschool and your a high school graduate and heh. I still continue to wonder whats going to happen between us in the future, I still wonder whats going to happen. I guess one thing im afraid of is not knowing if your willing to stay or not.
I think im changing, I dont think im putting myself down so much from when you first met me to now, I think im growing strong and having more confidence in myself. I think so and I believe so. But do you see that?
Sigh 5 more months, till I see my 2 beloved girls graduate, Hmm I think Im going to make you girls a DVD :) heh something to remember me by if you girls plan to leave san diego.
Heh and that crush, Every day I turn the page to read something new about life, as well myself and you. I still would like to get to know you more and more, Hopefully I can :3 Im pretty sure there's still much more to learn about me but do you wanna stick around still. Heh Aishiteru :3
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Seriously now back off
Has this ever happend to you?
Have you ever had a friend and then not become friends anymore for some reason and you havent liked them ever since the what ever situation? Have you ever had some one annoyingly adde all the guys or girls youve dated or like or talking to cause they wanna watch and see whats up with your life? Would it bother you even more if like you tried numerous times to show them you dont care about them and not wanna talk to them at all?
Ok so my case is every guy seriously every guy after the 2nd boyfriend ive had this guy that I strongly dislike has been adding and keeping contacts with every guy Ive dated or are talking too at that moment. Its really annoying cause its like yea sure I understand that we can talk to who ever we want too and associate with who ever we want buts its really annoying cause its like why do you always have to add and talk to the guys I talk to? Seriously is it not that clear that I dont want you to watch or care for me cause 1. were not friends 2. I dont see why my life is so important to you that you have to watch for my life or what ever 3. cause also your taken and sure u may want to befriend the guy im with or currently talking to but your taken.
Another thing, do you not know how annoying you are to me? I dont like you, for some reason everytime I try to be friends with you, you seem to annoy me some how or tell me something that I could care less about like your bragging. For instance sure some one could get asked out like 10-20 or so times in 1 week or whatever by different guys but when you told me when I gave you your surprise present was it really necessary? It seemed like you were trying to brag. Ive been talking to a old friend of ours and we both agree that you havent changed much from when I met you.
Its kind of annoying that you try to keep up with mylife and your showing that our old best friend is so much important and you try to show it and its like seriously you annoy both of us.
Me because serioulsy why are you watching over me? Why do you care? Have I not made it clear that your annoying or that I dont want to be friends with you? Seriously every fucking guy I talk to or date you add them or want to talk to them. Im old enough to take care of myself sure I was stupid back then but shit sometimes people grow up and there not like that anymore.
It frustrates me because why? You dont talk to me, you dont try to talk to me, you dont keep in contact with me, you think were close friends or what ever but I serioulsy dont consider you a friend, a close friend, a best friend, a acquantance or anything. Your nothing to me. Your just some one else that can deal with their life themselves and not have me in it. Serioulsy theres so much I can say about how annoying you are to me, how frustrating it is that you add and talk to the guys I date or like and its like UGHH FUCK OFF your TAKEN LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE UGH
Have you ever had a friend and then not become friends anymore for some reason and you havent liked them ever since the what ever situation? Have you ever had some one annoyingly adde all the guys or girls youve dated or like or talking to cause they wanna watch and see whats up with your life? Would it bother you even more if like you tried numerous times to show them you dont care about them and not wanna talk to them at all?
Ok so my case is every guy seriously every guy after the 2nd boyfriend ive had this guy that I strongly dislike has been adding and keeping contacts with every guy Ive dated or are talking too at that moment. Its really annoying cause its like yea sure I understand that we can talk to who ever we want too and associate with who ever we want buts its really annoying cause its like why do you always have to add and talk to the guys I talk to? Seriously is it not that clear that I dont want you to watch or care for me cause 1. were not friends 2. I dont see why my life is so important to you that you have to watch for my life or what ever 3. cause also your taken and sure u may want to befriend the guy im with or currently talking to but your taken.
Another thing, do you not know how annoying you are to me? I dont like you, for some reason everytime I try to be friends with you, you seem to annoy me some how or tell me something that I could care less about like your bragging. For instance sure some one could get asked out like 10-20 or so times in 1 week or whatever by different guys but when you told me when I gave you your surprise present was it really necessary? It seemed like you were trying to brag. Ive been talking to a old friend of ours and we both agree that you havent changed much from when I met you.
Its kind of annoying that you try to keep up with mylife and your showing that our old best friend is so much important and you try to show it and its like seriously you annoy both of us.
Me because serioulsy why are you watching over me? Why do you care? Have I not made it clear that your annoying or that I dont want to be friends with you? Seriously every fucking guy I talk to or date you add them or want to talk to them. Im old enough to take care of myself sure I was stupid back then but shit sometimes people grow up and there not like that anymore.
It frustrates me because why? You dont talk to me, you dont try to talk to me, you dont keep in contact with me, you think were close friends or what ever but I serioulsy dont consider you a friend, a close friend, a best friend, a acquantance or anything. Your nothing to me. Your just some one else that can deal with their life themselves and not have me in it. Serioulsy theres so much I can say about how annoying you are to me, how frustrating it is that you add and talk to the guys I date or like and its like UGHH FUCK OFF your TAKEN LEAVE ME AND MY LIFE ALONE UGH
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Heh I caught myself doing this today
6:50 am- Wake up your on my mind
6:51 am- Try going back to bed for a bit
6:52 am- Still on my mind
7:00 am- I lay awake thinking of you once again
7:01 am- I get ready
7:10 am- Arrive at Saturday school
7:15 am- Signed where to go first thing log on comp to check if your on
7:16 am- Wifi sucks at school for now
7:17 am- Think about reading the books I bought
7:18 am- Thinking about your lips and holding your hands
7:30 am- Wifi works now check to see if you were on again
7:45 am- you, you, you,you
8:30 am- Drawing my feelings out
8:45 am- Your in my heart
9:00 am- On my mind again
It's almost that time of year again, Valentines day. Not to excited for it though. It's almost ASB Ball at my school once again no date. Sorta ish had one last year but it turned out to be crappier than what I originally wanted to go down. Still had fun at last year's ASB ball. I dont know what to think of it honestly. This year wonder how its going to go down at ASB ball will I have more fun this year? Heh I honestly dont know kinda loosing touch with people I used to call friends. Dont know whats up with me this year to be honest.
Ive been thinking a lot about you lately, its sometimes good sometimes sad and most of the time lovely actually. I still remember what you told me about psychology and I think about it every now and then. Something we didnt have as a child we may seek for it for the rest of our lives till we find it. Heh I think about that a lot. The love and affection and attention, something that wasnt there much growing up. I guess I can finally agree with you about what I think about love being so noble. I like you a lot, more than I expected to.
Ive been reading one of my friends tumblr about her watching disney movies and she quoted
"I don’t blame the kids that were born from 2000 and up but I am talking about the 1990’s and even the 1980’s we grown up with Walt Disney’s movies, since we were at a young age I don’t believe we understood the moral to the story as many times we have watched it beside the happiness when obtaining “Love”. I guess that is the reason people are rushing into a relationships now a days since it had looked very simple from the movies. However, I don’t think we have recently watched the Walt Disney’s movies, if we did then there would be a better understanding to the moral of the story with the knowledge that we have now." - Jenny Trang
Love is fascinating, I kinda wanna watch the disney movies again. Heh my favorite princess movie would have to be The Little Mermaid. Like how she can relate to Princess Jasmin from The Aladdin, I find myself relating to Ariel the most. I probably will watch some of them tomorrow since I havent seen them in such a long time. I dont know what ill start with but I know I'll watch The Little Mermaid for sure. Hmm another interesting thing Jenny pointed out in her tumblr
"It is as if they have forgotten the reason they were with each other in the first place, the butterflies, the warmth, and the happiness lit on their face at the sight of their mate. Lately, people are growing up without looking back into their childhood."
6:51 am- Try going back to bed for a bit
6:52 am- Still on my mind
7:00 am- I lay awake thinking of you once again
7:01 am- I get ready
7:10 am- Arrive at Saturday school
7:15 am- Signed where to go first thing log on comp to check if your on
7:16 am- Wifi sucks at school for now
7:17 am- Think about reading the books I bought
7:18 am- Thinking about your lips and holding your hands
7:30 am- Wifi works now check to see if you were on again
7:45 am- you, you, you,you
8:30 am- Drawing my feelings out
8:45 am- Your in my heart
9:00 am- On my mind again
It's almost that time of year again, Valentines day. Not to excited for it though. It's almost ASB Ball at my school once again no date. Sorta ish had one last year but it turned out to be crappier than what I originally wanted to go down. Still had fun at last year's ASB ball. I dont know what to think of it honestly. This year wonder how its going to go down at ASB ball will I have more fun this year? Heh I honestly dont know kinda loosing touch with people I used to call friends. Dont know whats up with me this year to be honest.
Ive been thinking a lot about you lately, its sometimes good sometimes sad and most of the time lovely actually. I still remember what you told me about psychology and I think about it every now and then. Something we didnt have as a child we may seek for it for the rest of our lives till we find it. Heh I think about that a lot. The love and affection and attention, something that wasnt there much growing up. I guess I can finally agree with you about what I think about love being so noble. I like you a lot, more than I expected to.
Ive been reading one of my friends tumblr about her watching disney movies and she quoted
"I don’t blame the kids that were born from 2000 and up but I am talking about the 1990’s and even the 1980’s we grown up with Walt Disney’s movies, since we were at a young age I don’t believe we understood the moral to the story as many times we have watched it beside the happiness when obtaining “Love”. I guess that is the reason people are rushing into a relationships now a days since it had looked very simple from the movies. However, I don’t think we have recently watched the Walt Disney’s movies, if we did then there would be a better understanding to the moral of the story with the knowledge that we have now." - Jenny Trang
Love is fascinating, I kinda wanna watch the disney movies again. Heh my favorite princess movie would have to be The Little Mermaid. Like how she can relate to Princess Jasmin from The Aladdin, I find myself relating to Ariel the most. I probably will watch some of them tomorrow since I havent seen them in such a long time. I dont know what ill start with but I know I'll watch The Little Mermaid for sure. Hmm another interesting thing Jenny pointed out in her tumblr
"It is as if they have forgotten the reason they were with each other in the first place, the butterflies, the warmth, and the happiness lit on their face at the sight of their mate. Lately, people are growing up without looking back into their childhood."
Break ups over a small argument is kinda sad. Back to what my original train of thought now....
So theres this guy, Ive been talking to him for quite a while now and I could say, I like him a lot. I feel fuzzy when he says things like "babe" out of no where or "I love you" I dont know how much deeper the things between me and him can go but all I know is heh im starting to fall in love with him. Kinda scared though. I think of him to much and sometimes I wonder if im trying to hard and I get disappointed at myself. I guess cause hes the biggest thing that goes on as of now. I honestly cant tell you if anything is going to happen between me and him.
I think about him and it makes me happy. But I sometimes wonder if anything can happen. I guess what im also trying to point out is Kinda scared to fall for the guy hes sweet, charming, cute, adorable (especially when he wears this white jacket I think he looks like a teddy bear and i just wanna hold and squeeze him x3) intelligent and he has dreams.
I like it a lot when a guy has dreams to become something or want to do something to not only better for himself but to better for others as well. I look up to him as a inspiration. Funny Last guy that gave me inspiration was about 2 maybe 3 years ago? Everytime something bad happens I could just hear him saying "Shit happens" and I guess I get over the crap or what ever that goes on that day or time faster cause hes right shit does happen I shouldnt dwell to much or what ever. I knew this before but I guess cause I look up to the guy when hes told me about his crap and him getting over it. Especially some of the deep things that has happened in his life.
hmm even now I still think about him. I get happy when I see him and I get sad when I cant talk to him but I can manage cause Sure were not dating but I guess I can only manage cause im truly the only one who can take care of myself. Theres a new saying that came in my head that my brother told me about "Ill take care of myself for you if you take care of yourself for me" hmm I guess Im trying to apply that to myself now, Sure we can take it to the next step were we can take care of ourselves and each other but were not even going out and I know he can take care of himself.
Heh I love how as im writing this you keep popping in my mind. Heh hmm contemplating if i should get orange juice or not :P
So theres this guy, Ive been talking to him for quite a while now and I could say, I like him a lot. I feel fuzzy when he says things like "babe" out of no where or "I love you" I dont know how much deeper the things between me and him can go but all I know is heh im starting to fall in love with him. Kinda scared though. I think of him to much and sometimes I wonder if im trying to hard and I get disappointed at myself. I guess cause hes the biggest thing that goes on as of now. I honestly cant tell you if anything is going to happen between me and him.
I think about him and it makes me happy. But I sometimes wonder if anything can happen. I guess what im also trying to point out is Kinda scared to fall for the guy hes sweet, charming, cute, adorable (especially when he wears this white jacket I think he looks like a teddy bear and i just wanna hold and squeeze him x3) intelligent and he has dreams.
I like it a lot when a guy has dreams to become something or want to do something to not only better for himself but to better for others as well. I look up to him as a inspiration. Funny Last guy that gave me inspiration was about 2 maybe 3 years ago? Everytime something bad happens I could just hear him saying "Shit happens" and I guess I get over the crap or what ever that goes on that day or time faster cause hes right shit does happen I shouldnt dwell to much or what ever. I knew this before but I guess cause I look up to the guy when hes told me about his crap and him getting over it. Especially some of the deep things that has happened in his life.
hmm even now I still think about him. I get happy when I see him and I get sad when I cant talk to him but I can manage cause Sure were not dating but I guess I can only manage cause im truly the only one who can take care of myself. Theres a new saying that came in my head that my brother told me about "Ill take care of myself for you if you take care of yourself for me" hmm I guess Im trying to apply that to myself now, Sure we can take it to the next step were we can take care of ourselves and each other but were not even going out and I know he can take care of himself.
Heh I love how as im writing this you keep popping in my mind. Heh hmm contemplating if i should get orange juice or not :P
Friday, January 22, 2010
New updates
So life has been, hmm what can I sum it up to in one word?
Suckishhh.
Today had a performance had a solo played it pretty well im proud of myself. But other than that
Life
Just
Sucks :\
Suckishhh.
Today had a performance had a solo played it pretty well im proud of myself. But other than that
Life
Just
Sucks :\
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Star light Star bright, I wish I may I wish I Might
The heart that used to bleed the love youve given me, was once here happily standing and lifted up high to show everyone its shine, its like a star you said, a star you want to protect cause its shine is like no other. Its grown and grown shining brightly in the night sky until one night I was falling, with you to be no where around and I kept falling until I bursted into pieces. I wasnt no longer that shining star that used to light up the night sky. Ive became a dust trail to what ive become now. Follow my trail of dust, and pick up the pieces that remain. Its dark and cold and I need your warmth. Inside me is my lonely heart that was once in the night sky brightly shining. I am no longer that star that can shine, Once was something, Once was beautiful, for now I am no longer nothing in the sky just nothing.
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